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Emiliya Ahmadova
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I was born in a beautiful city Baku in 1977 the capital of Azerbaijan. As a child, I was a compassionate loving person that developed love for God and people. Since age nine I developed a passion for reading, literature poetry and languages. In high school, I used to participate in poetry competitions and always used to come first. At around age ten I started writing poems and short stories in Russian language but they never were published. Publisher asked me once to translate my poems in Azeri language but I never did it and then stopped writing for some time.
At later stage of my life, I started writing again. I wrote some poems such as "My Lord", "Father", "Cry of the Soul", "Chains", and "The Beast". I have successfully completed High School, got National Higher diploma in Business Management and B.A degree in Human Resources Management. I speak four languages: Azeri, Russian, English and some Turkish. The love to humanity and kids brought me to voluntary work in a school where I work as a scout leader with many kids. I like being around people, love traveling, enjoy playing soccer, running, exercising and helping people. During my lifetime, I met people who have been psychically and verbally abused as a child or as an adult. Some of them were neglected, had childhood traumas and end up in relationship with abusive controlling men. I have realized that these people are unconsciously crying for help but no one is there to help them or hear the cry. Feeling the pain, seeing hopelessness, frustration and fears of those who have been hurt, disappointed or abandoned, inspired me to start working on "Cry of the soul" novel. By writing Cry of the Soul I want to show peoples struggles, problems and help those that are in the same situation. I want also to show that there is always hope and light even in the darkness. I hope that with this novel, I will be able to help other people to change their lives as my main character did. In e-Charity.gr I came as a part of the family, after personal encouraging and supporting discussion I had with my good friend Alexander. I proposed him to participate and write articles, in order to help the readers both in English and translated in Greek as well. �� portfolio �� ����� ������� ���������...
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Many people suffer with depression silently. Depression is a condition that affects persons ability to function and relationship with others. Depression can be caused by stress, environment or imbalances in brain. In order to diagnose the cause and get correct treatment person should visit medical practitioner as soon as possible. Medical practitioner will prescribe the correct treatment and may prevent suicide or long term negative effects. Depressed people suffer with mood swings and live in the darkness feeling as if the whole world fell on their shoulders.
One minute they are full of joy then and after a few minutes sadness fills their hearts. They may feel lonely, empty, frustrated and hopeless. During those moments they either stay away from friends or look for emotional support and understanding. Unfortunately some of them get pushed away because of misunderstanding. If you suffer with depression let friends to know about it. Become part of a group such as church or other groups that will help you. You need emotional support from good friends and community. Keep busy with activities that make you happy and exercise. Exercising will help you to fight with stress. Right after exercising you will feel better. Try it and let me know if i was right.
Make sure you get enough sleep. Not sleeping enough can worsen depression and would affect your functionality during a day. Remember you have nothing to be embarrassed about and you are not alone. Do not suffer alone but surround yourself with positive and understanding friends. Most important turn to God. God will never reject you. If you continue being closer to God you will gain his grace. With God's grace your heart will be filled with joy and depression would diminish. At the same time look for a medical advice. Doctor may give you medicine that would help you too.
If your depression is caused by surrounding environment then leave that environment and start over. Remember you deserve the best and those who rejected you were not true friends. Forget, forgive them and move on. Please share if you know someone who suffers with depression. I will try to write more helpful articles, please like my page in order to follow them and invite others to like it. You can also join my group and get support in there.
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After being awarded the Barbados scholarship, Dr. Juliet Skinner completed her undergraduate medical training at Trinity College Dublin, Ireland. Women's health was always of special interest to her from early on in her training and she specialised in Obstetrics and Gynaecology. Juliet worked in the Coombe Women's Hospital and was at that time the youngest doctor to ever be appointed the position of Assistant Master of this prestigious Dublin maternity hospital. After completing her specialisation in Dublin she continued as Perinatal Research Fellow. During this time she developed and evaluated a number of ultrasound diagnostic tests both for fertility and for obstetrics. In 1999 she returned home to Barbados where she dedicated her time to expanding the medical care options to women on the island and within the Caribbean. Fertility and IVF then became the main focus of her interest. Dr. Skinner was instrumental is developing Barbados Fertility Centre from a start up unit with the goal of becoming one of the best in the world. From the beginning the mission was to create a centre, which would maximise each and every couples chance of success by offering the latest technology and the best facilities and by ensuring attention to every detail. Dr. Skinner is a Consultant Gynaecologist who leads the team at Barbados Fertility Centre.
Many couples can try for years to have a child, but to their disappointment they cannot conceive. Some of them may give up trying or chose to adopt. However, there is a solution for many with assisted reproduction. So what should you do if you cant conceive? Firstly, both the male and female partner need to consult a doctor and establish if there is a medical reason why they are not conceiving. A variety of different tests will determine the best course of action to increase this couples chance of a successful pregnancy. We have interviewed Dr. Juliet Skinner, Consultant Gynaecologist and Head Clinician at Barbados Fertility Centre for a more detailed explanation of infertility treatments available for couples who are trying to conceive.
Emiliya Ahmadova: There are many couples who suffer with infertility. What are the reasons of not being able to conceive?
Dr. Skinner: There are many reasons why a couple may not be able to conceive, this could be female factor or male factor, a combination of both or there may be no obvious medical reason at all, this is called unexplained infertility. Whatever the reason for infertility, if a couple has tried for 12 months with no successful outcome then they must seek medical intervention. Depending on the diagnosis then it may be necessary to try IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) or a full IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) cycle. Each couple we treat is individual and no two couples are the same. We take a detailed medical history from both the male and female partner and ask for tests to determine the cause of their infertility.
E.Α.: What kind of tests are performed?
Dr.S.: Male infertility is very common and affects about one in twenty men. We would analyze the male partners semen for its motility, which shows how well the sperm can swim. We would analyze the morphology, this is the shape of the sperm. Female infertility is far more complex and there are certain diseases such as Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, Endometriosis and Fibroids, which will all, affect a womans ability to conceive. Age plays a huge part in female infertility, as unlike men women are born with all of their eggs and after 35 there is a marked decrease in ovulation. We also specialise in reproductive immunology and advanced fertility treatments such as hysteroscopy and laparoscopy. We take in to account all the many factors and determine the best course of action for each individual patient.
E.Α.: Can you please tell me the difference between IUI and IVF?
Dr. S.: IUI is the introduction of prepared sperm into the uterus in order to improve the chances on pregnancy. IUI can be used when the female partner has open fallopian tubes and the male partner has normal semen parameters. IVF refers to the procedure where the embryo is fertilised outside of the body, so the female eggs are retrieved and are placed in glass with the male partners prepared sperm. When these fertilse and become embryos these are then transferred back to the uterus.
E.Α.: How much do these procedures cost?
Dr. S.: A couple can only try IUI if the female has open fallopian tubes, and this procedure starts at 375USD for the procedure. A full IVF cycle is 5750USD. But as we treat each couple based on their individual medical history, costs can vary depending on the medication that they need to prepare for treatment. We work hard to keep our costs down and have not increased our prices since 2007. This makes us a very attractive option for couples in Europe and the US, as our costs can be as much as half the cost.
E.Α.: What options does a couple have if the male partner’s sperm is of poor quality?
Dr.S.: We would prepare the sperm so that we use the male partners best quality of sperm, we can also take sperm directly from the testis if necessary to find sperm that is strong enough to fertilise the egg. And if necessary we can also use donor sperm.
E.A.: What is Clomid used for?
Dr.S.: Clomid is used stimulate the ovaries and in turn release eggs from the ovaries.
E.A.: Is it true that some women after IVF as well as taking Clomid become pregnant with more than one child?
Dr.S.: Clomid increases the number of eggs that we retrieve and in turn means we can end up with more than one good grade of embryo that has a good chance of survival. The decision of how many embryos we transfer back to the uterus is taken in consultation with the couple and very much depends on their medical history.
E.A.: I have heard lots of positive stories about your Barbados Fertility Centre. What makes you different from other fertility clinics?
Dr.S.: We offer our patients individualized care, we do everything we can to increase every couples chance of success, even if that is only 1%, that 1% could mean a baby! We combine cutting edge treatment with holistic therapy at our on site spa, The Life Wellness Centre, meaning our patients are at their optimum of relaxation to undergo treatment. We have a very high success rate of 80% on women under 35% and offer very low cost treatment compared to our international competitors. Finally, we are JCI accredited, assuring our patients of the best practices upheld at BFC. We are listed in the elite group of clinics who hold JCI accreditation and of this we are very proud.
I would like to thank Dr. Juliet Skinner for this valuable information. If you have tried for more than 12 months to conceive please contact Barbados Fertility Centre on 1 246-435-7467 or visit their web site www.barbadosivf.com for more information.
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This time, I decided to talk about abuse since this is a problem that hapens to women, even men, all over the world. It may be happening to your neighbor, behind the closed doors but you are not aware. There are two types of abuse, verbal and physical. I will concentrate on a verbal/emotional abuse, because it affects people in a worst way than physical. When someone abused psychically wounds are healed but with emotional abuse wounds are taking too long to heal and some may not heal. Those emotional wounds are so deep that adverse effects of it take too long to wear off. It affects not only someone’s health as well as the emotional state of mind, relationship with others as well as behavior. That's why, I had a very interesting and honest dialogue with myself, forming a QAF for the thoughts we all have on the causes of the abuse.
Q: So what is emotional abuse and what is happening during it?
A: Emotional abuse is when someone bullies the victim by telling the words that affect emotionally or purposely ignoring the victim as well as constantly putting him/her down.
For example, abusive partners may curse the victim almost every day. Make them feel bad about themselves. No matter what the victims do it would never be good enough for abusers. They will try to low down victim’s self-confidence, self-esteem and never see anything good in her/him. As well as make partner look bad even in front of their children. For example bully may say to his child, “your mother is stupid ,she doesn’t know how to do the things right way”. May use the following words “you are dummy, stupid, you will eat from a garbage bin, no one will hire you, you will be zero or will not survive without me. They will try to put fears in partners and make them financially depended on them in order to control and manipulate the victims.
Victims of abuse will get so fearful and frustrated that they will feel stuck in a rut. Being manipulated as well as controlled will turn survivors into anxious, frustrated, hurt, dependent person. Because of being constantly, emotionally hurt the victims’ hearts would be filed with anger and they may fall into depression.
Q: Why do people abuse partners?
A: Sometimes they may abuse partners because they are not happy with whom they are. Hence abusing partner will make them feel powerful and good about themselves. Some of them themselves were abused in the childhood or had negative childhood traumas. Drinking too much alcohol can also affect abuser’s mind pushing him/her to abuse the partner. Stressful life as well as impatience or mind illness can turn them into abusers. However while being at home abusive most of them manage to build a false image of themselves as a charming leader, loving partner or friend. Thereby they manage to conceal their abusive personality from others. Consequently, most abuses are happening behind the closed doors. Where only victims know about it.
Q: Why many victims stay with abuser instead of getting out?
A: Emotional abuse is so horrible that it takes away persons’ self believe and makes him/her hopeless and full of fears. For example, victims afraid to stay alone with no money, support, job or place to go. However, mothers stay with abuser also because of children. They worry that they will not be able to give their children a comfortable life or basic needs such as shelter, food, clothes, and education. Sometimes do not want to leave children without father/mother.
Q: What is solution to this problem?
A: Women suffer and if there are children they suffer too. Children know when something wrong in the family. They can feel when their parent upset or unhappy. Sometimes abused parent may shout at them because she/he feels frustrated and unhappy. So children may live in unhealthy atmosphere where parents quarrelling often and this can affect their behavior. Seeing parent getting abused can turn child into dysfunctional partner of parent in the future.
The best solution is to take children and leave once it is known that abuser cannot be changed. It doesn’t make a sense to stay in unhealthy relationship and I don’t think the kids will be happy in this kind atmosphere. Victims of abuse you have a right for a basic needs such as love, respect, good self-esteem. Believe in yourself, stop living in a fears and stand up for your rights. Put all your worries into God’s hands and start making steps in order to get out of abuse, heal and forgive. You deserve to be treated with love and respect so don’t waste your whole life by staying with someone who abuses you.
Before making any decisions think carefully and have a good planning. If you are educated then start looking for a job and if you are uneducated then enrolled into some educational programs that will give you new skills and thereafter a job. With the job you will feel more confident and will be able to take care of your kids if you have any if you decide to divorce your abusive partner.
Remember you are not alone but God is with you and he loves you. Turn to him for a help and healing but at the same time act as a change agent making every right step in order to get out of abuse. My dear readers do not forget to review my Novel Broken Chains at this LINK. This novel will allow you to see how women deal with abuse as well as will help many to change their lives. Please like also my page on Facebook HERE.
In e-Charity.gr magazine, we've interviewed psychologist Azzem Dana, in order to get his advice on how to deal with effects of abuse. Azeem Dana is a visiting Psychologist and Hypnotherapist at Brahmakumaris Trauma Care Centre at Mount Abu, Rajasthan, India. He is a Certified Basic and Advance Pranic Healer, Pranic Psychotherapist, Past Life regressionist, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP-USA) Practitioner and trained in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). He is also certified from Hypnosis Motivation Institute, California – U.S.A.
As a Psychologist and Certified Clinical hypnotherapist, Azeem has the education and the experience necessary to help people in several areas including overcoming emotions, relieving from childhood traumas, overcoming fears and phobias, weight management, smoking cessation, stress management, sports excellence, exam anxieties and relationship issues to name a few.
He is author of the International Best Seller “Instant Healing”, appears in the following links:
Emiliya Ahmadova: Mr.Azeem, as you know, many people are in some way are getting abused daily, and it affects their state of mind. How can the victim gain back their self-esteem and confidence? What would you advise to those who are still living with abusers?
Mr. Azeem Dana: In Counselling we cannot generalize. The solution has to be found out based on particular situation. And it is true that every issue can be sorted out with a solution. In the case of abuse, it is nothing but part of personality or behaviour. Personality is influenced by psychological, biological and social factors and hence, we call personality is a learned behavior, and whatever a person has learned can either be re-learned or unlearned.
In the case of the victim to maintain self esteem, the victim should understand the psychological, biological and social factors from both the end, of being a victim and from the end of abuser. If the Boss or a Relative is abusing, find out the cause for his or her outrage. One reason can be, that the person is not educated, ie., not knowing what he or she does, or it can be that they are brought-up in such a way influenced by psycho-bio-social factors or it can be the pressure created by others or can be some sort of illness. As a victim, once I understand the abuser, find out what makes me a victim of abuse. Whether I do not remain assertive due to lack of communication skills - like using questions of what, where, when, how and with whom - to know exactly what other person mean to say or what they expect me to do. Or do I have to get trained in coping skills, so that I can fulfill my responsibility in a better way and if required I can undergo the training to enhance my skills. Or find out if I have to learn time management or share responsibilities, or it can be simply that I have to voice my concern, that is to speak out rather than suffering within, so that the other person understands my concerns better.
E.A.: Constantly being abused builds anger and it affects the victim’s emotional state , behavior, as well as health. What are the ways of dealing with anger, depression and fears?
Mr. Azeem Dana: To deal with anger, fear and depression, I should understand that any emotion that I express is not there just because of current situation. It is a repeated pattern of expression that I have been expressing throughout my life at various situations since my childhood days. So, to deal with any particular emotion, I should know about, or write down, my complete life history and identify the various situations of my life that made me to experience this particular emotion or anger. Then I have to find out the psychological, biological and social factors that made me to experience that particular emotion repeatedly from my childhood days. Once knowing them, find out what is that inner strength or ability that I was lacking to deal with that particular emotion. Then work on to develop that quality within myself. Meditation - Practicing silence of mind by relaxing the physical body- helps to overcome any type of depression, fear and anger by strengthening our mind and will-power.
E.A.: Is there anything a victim can do in order to believe in their abilities, love themselves, as well as get rid of other effects of emotional abuse?
Mr. Azeem Dana: The effects of abuse can be overcome by knowing that personality is nothing but a learned behavior, and whenever we want we can change our personality with the help of knowledge – understanding of self and others gained by using our logical mind, will power – to maintain the desire for change, acceptance – without any guilt feelings of whatever has happened in the past, patience - giving time for change, hope, determination, love for self and others.
Even if we do not have control over the stressors – person, place, situations - or the abusers, still we can deal with them when we remember our own inner abilities and strengths, when we have faith in our own self, when we are able to maintain our self respect. To remember this at the time of need, every day morning and evening, practice simple visualization or imagination of own strengths and abilities that are appreciated by our parents, relatives, friends since our childhood days to till date. The victim can also visualize and see in their mind how they are dealing with their abuser maintaining their self-esteem.
E.A.: Is there anything an abuse victim can do stop being abused? How can one turn off the abusive impulses of one's abuser?
Mr. Azeem Dana: Instead of dealing with the situation by seeing one as a victim and other as an abuser, focus on the cause and solutions. Instead of reacting by revenge, respond to the situations using the logical sense of mind. The points to remember is:
1. Try to understand using logical mind - understand the abuser and own self.
2. If the abuser is not really an abuser but has real reason, try to make him or her understand, and if required, try to improve the self.
3. If you find, the abuser is really an abuser, for his own reasons like illness or when you feel out of your control, speak out being assertive or act finding a new job, complaining to police, complaining to mental hospital or move away from the abuser.
4. Forgive the abuser and remove the victim attitude from the self, learn from the past to begin a better future by adding coping abilities to the self.
To keep in touch and have contact with Dr. Azeem Dana
Email:[email protected]
Whatsup: 0091-8285984476
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